THE END IS NEAR
Doomsday is upon us…again. This spring 2019 will be the end of the world as we know it. A mythological planetary system, commonly referred to as Planet X, will appear in the sky on April 23 and it will destroy most of planet Earth – but luckily for you, Mad Monkey Hostels is building its newest and most epic property in an apocalyptic-proof location that will keep you safe and having a great time!
Mad Monkey Apocalyptic Bunker
Meet your fellow travelers at Mad Monkey Apocalyptic Bunker. Unfortunately, we can’t disclose the location for safety reasons, but upon booking, one of our friendly customer experience reps will shoot you an email with the exact longitude and latitude of our newest, coolest party property.
Our brand-spanking new hostel will surely be your home-away-from-home, as you will no longer have a home because of pending planetary snafu. And, taking this into consideration, we have hunky-dory package bundles that you can purchase either before or upon arrival. Many of the items are necessary doomsday gear, and our packages include:
- Ski goggles
- Bow and arrow
- Toilet paper
- S10 Respirator
- Otter on a Rope
- Astronaut food (vegetarian and vegan options available)
- Keg of beer to really get the party going
- Crowbar to open tricky things
- Night vision goggles
- Baseball bat (you never know)
- “I <3 Mad Monkey Apocalypse Bunker” t-shirt + eco-friendly water bottle
- Beach volleyball
- Paper underpants
Zombie Proof (ish)
There aren’t a whole lot of rules at Mad Monkey Apocalyptic Bunker, but one that must never be compromised is our strict sleep schedule. While all of our other properties close our bars at midnight to give our guests plenty of time to get a good night’s sleep, it is pertinent that at least one guest stays up around the clock should any airborne illnesses penetrate our bunker. Fret not, as energy drinks will also be provided around the clock – free of charge!
We know you’ve got a lot on your bucket list before the world ends, so we also offer a number of fun activities and games you can partake in when you stay at Mad Monkey Apocalyptic Bunker. From looking out the small yet quaint windows of the bunker with our state-of-the-art binoculars to see how bland the world looks post-apocalypse to playing the same board game over and over, you’ll never want to leave Mad Monkey’s newest (and arguably best) new hostel.
For more information about bookings or any questions or concerns you may have about Mad Monkey Apocalyptic Bunker, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. Cheers.
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Oh, and Happy April Fool’s Day!
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